Sara Evans filed for divorce back in October, 2006, from Craig Schelske who ran for Congress as a Republican from Oregon's 5th District in 2002 and lost. The divorce has turned into a side show. She accused him of adultery, verbally and emotionally abusive, drank excessively and frequently watched pornography in their home." I assume that "watched pornography in their home" is a nice way of saying "the lazy bastard sat around all day and jacked off." Damn Republicans -- they got such an easy life.
The "adultery" charged him with having sex with Alison Clinton, the nanny for their three children. Adding a "soap opera" twist to this celebrity divorce, Evans had been Alison Clinton's maid of honor. They were best of friends . . . until now. Alison Clinton not only denied the allegations but also filed a $3 million lawsuit against Evans and her attorneys claiming she is the victim of "slanderous and libelous" statements.
Hold on -- it gets better. As per the "pornography' allegation, Sara Evans accuses her husband of watching porn on the television in their home when their eldest child confronted him. The husband insists that he and Sara were BOTH watching pornography together when their 7-year-old daughter, whom they believed to be asleep, entered their room unexpectedly. Sara Evans also alleges that several photographs show Schelske having sex with other women -- which he steadfastly denies. He explains that the only pictures she has are only of him, and those were taken by her on their 10th wedding anniversary. All right . . . something is wrong with that. She's taking naked pictures of HIM??? That's kinky!
Hold on -- it STILL gets better. Her husband accuses her of losing interest in her "marital roles and responsibilities" and she continued to get worse and "neglected" their three children after she began appearing on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." Which is a nice way of saying, "the bitch thinks she's too good for her family." He has publicly stated, "Sara has unfortunately become a dramatically different person over the last year and it is something we have struggled to deal with. Sadly, it appears we have failed. The best I can do at this difficult time is ask that people of faith would pray for her and for my family. My greatest concern is for my children and the irreparable harm they are at risk of facing."
But -- is Sara Evans a horny slut?? OK -- here's the BEST part -- the REAL reason I'm writing this and dragging out this goofy story! He filed an 118-page document asking that she state under oath and penalty of perjury whether or not she admits to "an affair/sexual relationship/romantic involvement" with Kenny Chesney, Richard Marx, former "Dancing With The Stars" partner Tony Dovolani, or any member of her band. It also seeks to find out if there was any relationship with Brad Arnold, Matt Roberts, Todd Harrell or Chris Henderson — all members of the group 3 Doors Down. Whew . . . that's a whole freight train of cock.
Holy Shit! Bonanza! Sara Evans is beautiful. She's sexy! She's talented! And if the accusations are true, she's a hot slut! Men will love her -- women will hate her. This is tantamount to discovering that CNNs Robin Meade, the most whacker-licious woman in TV news, is a hot slut. That was just a "comparison," Robin Meade is not a beautiful, talented, slut. Just beautiful and talented. Actually, I have no idea. But wouldn't that be phenomenal -- unless you're her husband. What a combo -- beautiful, talented, and horny. That's the kind of stuff that'll kill a middle-aged man.
Ladies and Gentlemen . . . Sara Evans -- the most awesome woman in America.
Believe it . . . or not.
